Dear Michael Schwartz,

Congratulations on being the chief assclown at this year's increasingly inaccurately named "Values Voters Summit." As you can imagine, that's something of a crowded field.

However, when you decided that looking at naked images of the adult female body could turn an 11 year old boy into a gay man, I think you left open a window into your own soul.

When an 11 year old boy unearths his father's Pr0n collection, his first thought isn't "Am I gay?" His first thoughts are more than likely to be "score!" or "wow, what big knockers" or, if he's more sophisticated, "those can't possibly be real."

Unless, of course, said 11-year-old boy was gay to start with. Got something else to tell us about yourself, Michael?

Points at Which It's Safe to Stop Reading.

From a blogger currently featured on the front page of Arizona's Shittiest Website^TM:

I may be my mother’s dumbest daughter

Oh, but wait, there's more...

I may be my mother’s dumbest daughter, but when I heard that the big 3 automaker CEO’s went to Congress to ask for money to bail out their automobile companies in private jet planes, I laughed my a** off.

Hmm. Actually, that just made me shake my head.

If just one of those executives, say the one from GM, put a generator in an SUV and had it follow him in a Chevy Volt all the way to Washington, they would have written him a blank check on the spot.

Of course, an SUV with a generator would kind of make the Chevy Volt irrelevant...wait a second. I was giving this incoherent sentence thought, instead of realizing that this is Jamielynne's dadaist way of prove she is her mother's stupidest daughter...but I digress. Continue on, oh Missouri born airhead.

The same skewed thinking has put this country in our present position; paying millions of dollars to people who bankrupted their business, funding corporate foreign junkets for incompetent corporate executives, and enabling people without jobs, credit, or savings to get mortgages they can’t afford

Shorter JamieLynne McDumbfuck (Take Your Pick):

I have no fucking clue about economics.
or
All of those folks who bankrupted their businesses were probably Democrats anyway.
or
All of those people who borrowed money in the Bush years to buy a house were lazy (insert derogatory term for minority of your choice here), welfare queens.

If I wanted the government to ignore years of bad business decisions and give me the cash to bail out my company the last thing I would do is demonstrate that I don’t have the brains to put on a good show.

This is the point at which somebody needs to stage an intervention, and make JamieLynne step away from the keyboard until she swears never to write about economics again.

It is all well and good to say let the companies die in total ignorance of the economic consequences, without realizing that they won't die in isolation, and it won't be just the Rust Belt that suffers.

If GM, Ford, and Chrysler die, that amounts to 2 million jobs. Not only do the three automakers die, but so do whole industries that support them with steel, glass, plastics, parts, tires, radios, etc. So do aftermarket suppliers. And the dealers.

This is on top of an already shaky economy, where the Dow has already fallen as far on a percentage basis as during the Great Depression, and when the economy is already shedding jobs faster than one can keep track.

But, of course, like the conservative anti-intellectual JamieLynne whatsherface is, she's much more eager to do the thing that feels good to her little priviledged, nasty, me-first in the name of our Lord self, instead of actually devoting some serious thought to the problem, and how to create a solution that does the least to hurt the broader economy, which is, of course, the only reason an honest person would consider bailing out any company in a country in the first place.

If JamieLynne isn't her mother's dumbest daughter, it certainly isn't for lack of effort

From the Department of You Can't Make This Shit Up.

Can someone explain this phenomenon to me?

Eight teenagers have been sentenced to time in jail by a court in Israel for carrying out a series of neo-Nazi attacks that shocked the nation.

The eight, aged from 16 to 19, were found guilty of attacking religious Jews, gays and drug addicts, and the desecration of a synagogue.

The group, immigrants to Israel from the former Soviet Union, were sentenced to between one and seven years in jail.

Israel was founded in the wake of the Nazi Holocaust in which millions died.

One of those convicted was the grandson of a Holocaust survivor.

OK. I'm not a simpleton here. If I recall correctly, 6,000,000 Jews died in the Holocaust at the hands of, hold on, still wrapping my head around this, oh, that's right, Nazis.

By definition of the Nazis, anybody with a Jewish ancestor going back to great-grandparents was by their definition, Jewish, and therefore was subject to a one-way trip to Treblinka, or Auschwitz, or any of the other Nazi dens of evil, these morons are Jewish by origin, if not practicing religion.

And they are here, um, wait a minute, I'm having trouble handling this one, persecuting Jews? How does that work?

There was widespread revulsion in Israel when the existence of the neo-Nazi gang was revealed after their arrests in 2007.

Gee, you think?

If someone could explain this one to me, please help. Thanks.